William and Isabel were born May 26th, 1995.

Recently my step-mom, Donna, asked Isabel a question, and Isabel's reply was simply, "Well, that's just the way life goes."

The following is an excerpt from a discussion that William and Isabel had while in the back seats of the car, when they were about three and a half.

It seems that ever since then, Isabel has held the upper hand in this debate. Same car, same people, next day.

A few months later, William told Isabel that he loved her and was going to marry her. Isabel explained that she LOVED him, but she wasn't IN LOVE with him, so she couldn't marry him. William ran off crying.

The following is an excerpt from a discussion that William and Isabel had in their school. (Which, by the way, reveals William's true love.)

Being as William has always been an excellent 'eater' of all kinds of foods, Donna was happy to give him the frozen peas that he requested. She went off to tend to some stuff around the house, but after not hearing from him for some time, she checked up on him. He had spread the peas out on the floor, and was practicing his golf swing.

I was on the phone with Isabel who was telling me about the kangaroo which she had drawn in art class earlier that day. I asked her what kangaroos keep in their pouches. She said, "Baby kangaroos." Then I suggested that kangaroos also like to keep ham sandwiches in their pouches. Isabel wasn't sure, but she asked Donna who said, "No," so she got back on the phone and said that kangaroos do NOT keep ham sandwiches in their pouches. I said that they keep their car keys in their pouches. Now Isabel was mad. She started yelling at me saying that kangaroos don't drive, and she reiterated the fact that kangaroos only keep baby kangaroos in their pouches. Then she started to make farting noises at me over the phone.

The other day when Donna asked why William and Isabel didn't tell her that their uncle had called, their response was immediate: "Oh, he had such a good time talking to us, he didn't need to talk to you."

William, Isabel, Donna, and my Dad went out for lobsters. William took his lobster bib (which had a picture of a lobster on it) and swung it around his neck so that it was a cape. Then he grabbed two lobster antenae, and pulling them to his nose proclaimed himself "super lobster!"

The following story explains how my belly got a knickname.

Apparently William was jealous, which led to the following exchange:

My dad, Donna, Isabel, and William were in the car.  Donna explained to my dad that Isabel had had diarrhea.  Instantly William and Isabel burst into song: "Diarrhea!  Duh, Duh!  Diarrhea!  Duh, Duh!"

The following is an excerpt from a recent telephone conversation I had with Isabel.

Along similar lines William once showed me his "Big-Boy Pants," which had lots of racing cars on them.

The following is a story relayed to me by my dad:

I had been asking Isabel whom I should marry, and she had suggested my sister Jamie. I told her I didn't think so, and she wanted to know why. To divert her attention I suggested that I marry Angus, which led to the following.

Sometime later after thinking about my newly acquired "KID" status I decided it would be fun to ask Isabel how old she thought I was, which led to the following exchange.

Eventually her guesses came in as follows: Ivan = 5 Years Old. Jamie and Donna = 6 Years Old. Dad = 8 Years Old. Her Grandma = 9 Years Old.

Since the answers turned out so well with Isabel, I decided to try my luck with William.

When I went to Isabel's first grade class to juggle, the teacher asked Isabel to introduce me.

Recently William and Isabel had a "tea party" on Dad and Donna's bed. They had had Donna's approval, but she was unaware that there would be any actual liquids involved, and they ended up spilling some water. They reported this information to Donna who of course was annoyed and scolded them a bit. When she was pretty much done she heard Isabel whisper to William, "I guess we should have done it on Daddy's side [of the bed]."

I called and Isabel answered the phone. There was a lot of noise in the background, and Isabel explained to me that she couldn't talk now, because she "needs to go play `Cooties!'"

I guess it is important to keep ones priorities straight.

I called and I was speaking with my dad on the phone when I heard Britney Spears in the background. Isabel was singing along and she knew every word. She was particularly emphatic about singing the part that goes: "I'm not ... that ... innoncent."

She apparently also knows the choreography.

Since William and Isabel are moving, the teacher asked William to explain this fact to his class. Sometime later Donna asked William about it:

William appears to be quite the little stud. He explained to me that all of the girls in his class tried to jump on him and kiss him the other day. He quickly added, however, that he had no problem getting away, because "he knows karate."

He also has a girlfriend, Katya. She looks out of the school bus window for him in the morning, and then he runs on and sits next to her. They also hold hands.

As a result of William's obvious studliness, I decided to ask him for pointers. He suggested that I act like him. I asked him for more specific things and at first he was reluctant to divulge his secrets, but after pressing him we had the following exchange:

So basically, my very precocious little sibling thinks that if I were more of a jock the women would be impressed, and I should go try to pick up women on the bus. Pretty sage advice coming from a six year old. (I'm also impressed with his use of the process of elimination.)

William has apparently also been hitting on his high school baby sitter. He was sitting on the couch with Isabel in the basement watching TV. When he heard the basement door he jumped up and ran off. Isabel called out asking him where he was going and his response was, "I am going to go play air hockey with the Beautiful Renee."

William told Donna that there was a girl in his second grade class with a crush on him. He also said that there's another girl in his class with a crush on him, but quickly added, "but she doesn't know it." Needless to say Donna was quite amused by this and asked him to whom he was referring. "Joy" came the response. Now the punchline to this anecdote is that Donna was speaking with Joy's mother a couple of weeks later, and, sure enough, Joy did have a crush on William. (The Force is strong with my little brother!)

I asked Isabel for advice with women the other day. (She'll be 8 next month.) She said that I should be more mature. I asked her to explain and she said that I should act like an adult.

I recently ended a phone conversation with Isabel by saying, "May the Force Be with You!" She responded by saying, "And also with you, so sayeth the gospel, Amen."

This morning I called up William from my office and said, "Guess where I am." William said, "Alabama?"

The following is an excerpt from a speaker phone message left on my answering machine by the gang when William and Isabel were about 2 years old: